The Beginning of the End

Today was my daughter's first day of kindergarten. I must admit, it might as well have been her college graduation, because for me, it was...the beginning of the end. As we entered her classroom this morning, it was your typical first day scene...clutching bodies, screams of "don't go!", and tears. Lots and lots of tears. Don't worry though, about an hour after drop off, I calmed myself down.

Yep, the tears were from me, not my precious firstborn. The creativity and desire to learn has been running through her little veins since she was born. I knew she'd be crazy for school when she had come to me when she was three years old, after "organizing" our sunroom with chairs and scotch tape, and told me it was her "art gallery." Need I say more? C'mon people, Harvard here we come!

If only I would've known that the time would pass so fast, so fast that I could still remember tucking her into bed for three whole hours, just like yesterday, as she was afraid to go to sleep without me...oh wait, that was yesterday.(We're actually still working out some sleep issues.)
No, but really, even though I've spent every waking moment with my little girl except for approximately 5 days total in her life (seriously), it still seems like it's too soon to send her out into the world. I mean, does kindergarten really have to be every day? Sure it's only three hours, but that's fifteen hours a week. I feel like I have joint custody or something. And lunch? They just have to eat lunch in school? Sure her class hours are from 11 to 2, and sure that is your typical lunchtime, but I figured out on the drive to the school, that I will probably never eat lunch with my daughter on a weekday again? Can you imagine? I think tomorrow I'm going to wake everyone up at 5 am for breakfast, just so they'll be hungry around 10 o'clock for lunch at home. That's right home, where lunches should be served. That's where the term "homemade lunches" came from anyway, they were meant to eat at home. I know what you're thinking, is this the same woman who wrote all of these old posts on this blog? Sounds like a well needed break, right? That's what'd you think, but today, it didn't feel that way to me. It felt like the beginning of this never ending,roller coaster part of parenting, called letting go.

Although I don't think I'll let go just yet, I'm sure after about a week or so, these distraught feelings of abandonment will subside, and I'll find something to do with those extra three hours a day, like organizing my ransacked closet, or cleaning out the cracker crumbs and slurpee stain from the backseat of my van. Either that or I'll just research homeschooling.(LOL)