Exposed

I'm sorry I did not post a Sincerely Sunday this week, but I had a near outer body experience yesterday that I just had to share with you all.

Let me preface this story by saying how much I deeply love my husband and how smart, thoughtful and unselfish he truly is. That being said, today he committed the most outrageous, most unthinkable mistake.

I don't know about you, but Sunday at my house is the one day I am guaranteed some degree of rest, well usually, because my husband is home. During the week, things are pretty hectic and busy with the usual mundane tasks. So, on the weekends I really look forward to those few spare minutes where I can just sit and relax.

I had just laid my son down for his afternoon nap and my husband had taken the older two outside, so he could mow our extremely overgrown backyard. I laid down on the couch and was about to indulge myself in a classic 1980's romantic comedy, you know the ones they play on Sunday afternoons. The second I laid my head on the pillow, I heard voices. I looked up to see my darling husband and my neighbor..."What in the world?" I thought. They were looking right into my living room bay window. I quickly and discreetly slid off the couch and maneuvered through the land mines of toys in my living room, and headed into the kitchen to look as though I was busily cleaning.

The next thing I knew, I heard voices even louder. Voices that weren't coming from outside. Voices that were coming from inside...inside my living room. I shuddered at the thought. "Nah, I must be hearing things." I know the man I've been with for the last ten and a half years, would not, no could not, let anyone step foot in our house, when it was in this kind of disarray. He just wouldn't. That is surely a rookie, mistake, and my hubby is anything but a rookie.

"Who's that mama?" My son asked.
"I don't know honey," I replied, through clenched teeth.
"Mama, it sounds like Mark," he said.
"No, honey, it can't be Mark, Daddy wouldn't let Mark in our house t-o-d-a-y."
He laughed. "But, mama it sounds like Mark." Smart kid.

I slowly walked into the living room and heard my husband yell, "honey, Mark is just coming in to check out our broken window."
At this point I blacked out for a moment and while I was fighting the urge to go towards the light, I watched the years of my life flash before my eyes. When I came to, I was spitting out something like, "I know you are NOT bringing Mark into our living room when it looks like this.

My neighbor graciously acted as though he'd seen worse(yeah right, maybe in a landfill.) As they walked out the front door, I grabbed a paper bag to control the hyperventilating. I sat on the couch, completely mortified and tried to wrap my mind around what had just occurred. "Was my husband completely out of his mind? Was he sick or something? That must be it, Mark must've been very sick and so my husband had to let him in our living room to rest on our couch. Yeah, that's what happened."

When my husband finally made his way back inside, I tried to get my composure and managed to mouth the words, "what were you thinking?"
"He insisted," he said.
"What do you mean he insisted?"
"He insisted, he was looking to fix our broken window, and he insisted he needed to see it from the inside?"
"Did he man handle you?" I asked. "Did he hold a gun to your back? Did he twist your arm, or threaten to harm your family?"
"Uh, no."
"Well, then I don't care who insists. If you gotta tackle him to the ground, or put him in a choke hold, you do not let him in our living room, when it looks like THIS."
"Sorry, honey." he replied.

Unbelievable. We've lived here for three and a half years, the guy has never stepped foot in our house, and the one time he does, it's the day I decided to take a rest from my mother duties. It figures.

Be careful when you decide to take a rest ladies, watch your back. You never know if it's going to be the day your neighbor decides to pop in, and you are standing there completely exposed.