Ear plugs.

I need them.

I need them bad.

I need them in the morning when my kids are brawling on the couch about who stole who's spot, and I'm trying to catch every last second of sleep that I possibly can, before starting my marathon day.

I need them in the car when my kids are playing "ratboy," and thumb wars, and when my sweet baby girl decides to chuck her sippy cup halfway across the van while letting out the most ear piercing, high pitched scream you've ever heard.

I need them at mealtimes when my little boy rattles off his likes and dislikes list, and directs which foods I should and should not put on his plate while my older two fight over who is getting the snowman plate.

I need them when I'm vacuuming and our supposedly very intelligent cairn terrier barks incessantly as I attempt to clean up last night's pretzel crumbs while dodging his bushy paws. At that very same moment my kids announce to me that they cannot hear the television and so they pump up the volume to level 35, a level so loud that the neighbors hear the entire episode of Cyberchase through the walls.

And I need them at bedtime.

Yes, a time when the chaos of the day has quieted, all is calm, children are sleeping, and nothing can be heard but the sound of my hard working, sleep deprived, allergy-ridden hubby attempting to breathe in and out as he sleeps peacefully next to me.